But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
