I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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