So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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