i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
