it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
