soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
