sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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