Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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