Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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