Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
