I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
