Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
