I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
