I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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