this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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