Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
