I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
