Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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