Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
