ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
