yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Mom said you looked used
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
