she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
