Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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