a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Randomize
