P.S. I can't hear my feet
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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