it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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