im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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