So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
