he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
