Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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