I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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