dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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