Will you blow on my dice?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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