she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I need a beard to bite.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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