we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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