I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
