I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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