worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
