Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
