you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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