I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
