hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
