I didn't shave. On purpose
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
