omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
