Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
