just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
