all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
