Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
