haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
