i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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