I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
